.
. Quite frankly, this is a sad thing for me."

Mingilino said Phebus needn't have worried. She said she held onto the ring initially only because Phebus wrote her a love letter telling her to keep it.

"He can have his ring -- he can shove it as far as it goes," said Mingilino, a mother of four who says she's now dating someone else. "Just seeing my name on the same paperwork with this guy is enough to make me want to vomit. I don't want anything to do with that ring; I don't want anything to do with that guy."

Not only did Mingilino return the ring, she dumped the $6,500 Roberto Cavalli wedding dress she had bought with her daughter's credit card on Phebus' doorstep with a note that read, "Your loss."

Mingilino is asking Phebus to return her grandmother's diamond earring and a chocolate fountain she bought for a party. He says he intends to do that.

On March 22, Phebus filed his lawsuit in Will County Circuit Court. Associate Judge Bobbi Petrungaro that same day ordered that the ring be returned to Phebus, who was required to put up $100,000 bond until the matter was decided.

Mingilino said her 11-year-old son, thinking his mother was going to be arrested, became hysterical when a deputy showed up to get the ring. She said she had stored it in a bank safe deposit box.

In Illinois, when an engagement is called off by both parties, the person who gives an engagement ring is typically entitled to get it back. Vann vs.Vehrs, a 1994 decision by the 2nd District Illinois Appellate Court on a DuPage County case, was the first time a state appellate court took up the issue, said Rolling Meadows attorney Terry Slaw.

Slaw represented Cindy Vehrs, who was ordered to return her engagement ring after the court ruled it was not a gift and that the so-called "heart balm" statute -- which prohibits civil lawsuits over a broken promise to marry -- did not apply to this case.

"I still don't agree with the decision, but it's been the law for 13 years," he said.

Slaw said he wanted to appeal the case to the state Supreme Court, but his client decided to drop it. He said he still gets calls from lawyers all over the country asking about that case. He also believes it is taught in the state's bar-review exams.

Phebus and Mingilino met online and started trading business e-mails around Thanksgiving of 2005. They first met in person in January but parted in July, the same month Mingilino's mother died of liver cancer and she lost her home to foreclosure.

The couple got back together in late November of 2006 and talked of getting married in Las Vegas or Italy.

The lawsuit said they were engaged on Dec. 16.2005 , she declared bankruptcy last year and, with plans to return to school in August, said she could have used the money the ring's sale would have brought. But, she said Wednesday, keeping the ring was not an option.

"I didn't want any leftovers of Mr. Richard Phebus," she said.